Ever wondered how you ended up talking to ‘that guy’ in the bar? Perhaps you were at a friends birthday do, or just out for your weekend lash up, yet somehow you’ve been reeled into a long conversation, aided by your fourth glass of wine, with a stranger you would never have looked twice at without your beer goggles. So who is ‘that guy’ and why are you telling him your life story? This gentleman before you could in fact be an undercover PUA.The term PUA is an abbreviation for the phrase ‘Pick Up Artist’, and unknown to most women, this is a growing community of men who research techniques of conversational topics, body language and psychological tricks all with one purpose in mind, to get you into bed.
Don’t panic! Not every man you speak to is trying to get into your undergarments or plotting to have his way with you, and there are some good uns’ out there.
However, there is an ever expanding online community of PUA’s, making this ‘art’ accessible to anyone. They have forums where they give each other advice and swap articles. They even offer subscriptions to the truly dedicated which I’m sure include the deep, dark and sacred secrets of the most successful PUA’s.
There are some who have been trained up by their PUA coaches, researched into the female psyche and even gone to ‘PUA boot-camp’ in hope of becoming the ultimate pulling machine. Articles online from http://www.pualife.net/ include: ‘The essence of being cool’, ‘How to get straight A’s in masculinity’ and ‘How to get time alone with a girl in a club.’
In an article named ‘5 reasons why dating isn’t fair for men’, reason 2 reads...
“A very small portion of the women that are alive are as perfect and beautiful as the women in Playboy and other magazines, and therefore it’s impossible for every man to have a woman that is this beautiful. How unfair.”
…what a hard life it must be for men. As if we didn’t have enough to worry about, it distresses me greatly that there are actually men out there that follow these philosophies. Not only are these creeps, sorry ‘pick up artists’, sly and manipulative, they also have unbelievably high standards. I thought beggars couldn’t be choosers?!?
The burning question is, does this give men an unfair advantage? After briefly browsing through some of these sites, they remind me of a woman’s weekly advice section. Surely these tips aren’t top secret they are just common sense for the socially inept. Can any harm really be done by giving those in need of help that encouraging pat on the back? Or is it more a case of removing the stabilisers whilst the child is still on the bike? Teaching men to hunt in packs and lull women into a false sense of security when you really have nothing in common (you just haven’t realised this yet) sounds to me like a bit of a time-bomb.
You end up with two alternative scenarios. The first situation causes you to get trapped in a conversation with an equivalent of the office geek whilst you desperately make SOS signals to your friends, you eventually make you excuses or just leave. You’ve wasted half an hour of drinking time, and your PUA is left with a bruised ego and a determination to prove that his PUA monthly subscription was worth it. Nobody is a winner here. Or second where your PUA has followed his rehearsed scripts and convinced you that you and he are the next Bonny and Clyde as he holds the taxi door open for you and winks goodbye to his mates. The first scenario creates a repetitive cycle of ego bashing for our so called ‘PUA’s’ and wasted time and an increased loathing for losers in bars for their victims, not to mention driving away any other good looking potential partners.
If there is genuine chemistry between two people, fair enough, but if your simply susceptible to the charms of the apparent one ‘good apple’ in the never ending batch of ‘bad apples’ you don’t stand a chance. It will only be a matter of time before you realise your Prince Charming is in fact just a frog and you got it all wrong and kissed it, and to make matters worse now you have frog breath!
What happened to letting nature take its course? What happened to the old fashioned way of meeting new people and if you like each other, result. Men can seem a little out of touch with the female sex at times, but the human race is still alive so their natural powers of seduction can’t be that bad. Women don’t want a con artist, we want someone genuine, it doesn’t matter what advice a website gives men on the inner secrets of the female mind, you either get on or you don’t. At the end of the day, if you would just take us for dinner, admit we are always right, hold open the odd door here and there and let us record Hollyoaks over match of the day, we’d be putty.
Stephanie Lamey
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